The Emmy Awards -- Lost Opportunities

Finally, I got to see this year's the Prime Time Emmys. I agree with most of the critics --- BORING. Four of the five hosts had no concept of what do on stage. Howie Mandel did his best to save the opening about nothing but even he couldn't save it. The look back at old sets, tributes to old shows, and Josh Groban's medley all were attempts to put some life in this long program but just weren't enough.

Poor Josh Groban tried to make the old themes sound like his songs but many didn't fit in his range. It was when he played into them, he did a better job. Josh Groban raps and does The Theme from "The Fresh Prince of Bel Air"? He did a decent job but what a waste. Could the medley have been done by multiple artists? With all the rappers who grace our TV viewing, from Flavor Flav to Ice-T, one of them couldn't have done it?

The best moment and most delicious revenge goes to Jimmy Kimmel who made the hosts of the reality competition shows wait until we came back from commercial to announcer the winner. Now you all know how the viewers feel. Ha! Good for you, Jimmy Kimmel! The second runner-up for me would be Kathy Griffin giving Don Rickles the room to be himself.

Gene Siskel once said that he wouldn't care how long the Oscars are depending that they are entertaining. Here is where the Emmys have lost there way.

Cut the talk. Oprah and the academy president with their preaching and platitudes -- cut them. I love Oprah. Don't get me wrong, but all they did was slow down a show that was in bad need of momentum. Let Oprah introduce someone musical and sing and dance along like she does on her program. Maybe she could dance with Ellen Degeneres (Who would lead?). That would be a lot funnier and more entertaining.

So you criticize, but do you have any ideas to make it better? Absolutely!

TV is a visual medium. If you want to be a talking head and yap on and on, put it in its proper place -- podcasts and radio. The other problem is that in paying tribute to TV it is only pays tribute to a small section of shows. Open the base beyond the 40+ years olds who make up the Academy.

Drop the pretty people and bring on the freaks and the entertainers! The beautiful actors and actresses are nice on the red carpet but if they don't know how to work a stage without a script or play to a live audience, leave them in the audience. Forget Hayley Pantierre and Jennifer Love Hewitt. Bring more of the following:

MAGIC
Ever meet some one who hates magic tricks. Last season included Chris Angel and "Mindfreak", the hosts of "Bullshit", Penn and Teller, and a wonderful celebrity competition show on VH-1 called "Celebracadabra" where celebrities competed to open for Steve Wyrick in Las Vegas. Both the winner, C. Thomas Howell and his first runner-up, Hal Sparks (formerly of the Emmy ignored "Queer as Folk") had spectacular final illusions. Magic would have added it's own spectacular element to a dull show.

MUSIC
Jonas Brothers of "Camp Rock", Miley Cyrus of "Hannah Montana", "High School Musical 2"...hey Academy, does any of this sound familiar? Good enough for music awards shows, but not the Emmys? No? Look at the Billboard charts! Try this for an award show opening. Dark stage. From nowhere, a lone female voice, Vanessa Hudgins. "Na Na Na Hey Hey. You are the music in me." She steps in a spot light only to be joined in a couple bars by by Zac Efron in his own spotlight. They finish the Emmy nominated duet together. Lights out and up on a single spotlight on Ashley Tisdale on her Emmy nominated "Fabulous". Opening strains and then up on the remainder of the "High School Musical 2" cast for the rest of song. Zac Efron and Vanessa Hudgins return to the group for "We Are All in This Together". Then as the music fades away, the announcer welcomes everyone to the 60th annual Emmy Awards. On to the first award with a comic.

COMICS

Who knows how to rock an audience and create humor and fun than a stand-up comic. Throw a rock at a TV schedule and you'll hit one. Can you think of one? How about...Jon Stewart, Sarah Silverman, Brian Posehn, Kevin James, Patton Oswalt, Jay Leno, Craig Ferguson, David Letterman, Stephen Colbert, Richard Belzer, Carlos Mencia, Joe Rogan, Bill Maher, Kathy Griffin, Margaret Cho, Bill Engvall, Jeff Foxworthy, Ellen Degeneres, Joy Behar, Whoopi Goldberg, Sherri Shephard, Monique, Drew Carey, John Oliver, Dave Attell, George Lopez, for starters. Then all those wonderful comics who have specials on the air or haunt Comedy Central including Chris Rock, Dane Cook, Jeff Dunham...

WHO CARES ABOUT THE HOSTS, BRING ON THE WINNERS!
The Emmys prides itself nominating the competition reality shows (They're actually game shows but that's another column). However, if "America's Got Talent", "American Idol", "So You Think You Can Dance", ""Greatest American Dog", "Last Comic Standing", and other talent shows are wonderful (and I agree they are), why couldn't be one of the prizes be they get to perform on the Emmys? Neil E. Boyd, the winner of "America's Got Talent" is an incredible singer. Him and maybe the little 4 year old who can remember all her lyrics would have been wonderful editions to the program. Further point crowds flock to some of the American Idols, why couldn't they perform. Chris Daugherty, Clay Aiken, Carrie Underwood, Kelly Clarkson, Academy Award winner Jennifer Hudson, Fantasia could do some of the nominated songs or could have done a more varied of medley Josh Groban attempted. As for presenting, if you are stuck on a desert island for 39 days eating almost nothing but rice and bugs and you still survived the whole experience to place or win, the very least the Academy can do is let you present an Emmy.

BRING ON THE FREAKS
From the strange and fun (The "Mythbusters" Gang) to the dangerous ("Dog, the Bounty Hunter") to the reality covered celebrities (Rev. Run, Paula Abdul, Kathy Griffin) to reality's favorites families ("Little People, Big World", "American Chopper", "Jon and Kate Plus 8") to the downright self-involved and skanky ("Flavor of Love", "Keeping Up with the Kardasians", "I Love New York"), to the controversial (Bill O'Reilly, Sean Hannity, Bill Maher),TV is filled with characters that not only inform and/or titilate but entertain us. The average blah actor and actress reading lines can be no match for some who commands real presence, sentimentality, or is downright funny all by themselves ("My name is Niecy Nash and you're watching 'Clean House'.)

Remember Academy this is an awards show about the very best TV has to offer. Don't tell us. Show us! Television is entertaining so should be it's award show.

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